"Do Hard Things"

I’m reading a book entitled Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris (younger brothers of Joshua Harris – Senior Pastor of Covenant Life Church and author of books such as Not Even a Hint; I Kissed Dating Goodbye etc…). This book is aimed primarily at the teen culture of today, but since I have been regularly meeting with teenagers and will be leading a team of teens this summer during one of our outreach events, I thought I should read something that may help me get in their world a little bit. As I started reading this book, I came to realize that parents should read this book well before their children become teenagers.

Let me give you a brief summary as to how this “do hard things movement” was started. During the summer of 2005 Alex and Brett Harris were unsure as to what to do with their summer. This was unusual for these young men because they were self motivated and had been taught to make good use of their time. In fact for years they were involved in debating and they often spent their summers doing research on particular topics of interest. On this particular summer, they were at a loss. Their parents challenged them that they needed to move on, but they were unsure as to what this would look like for them. Finally, their dad came to them with this statement, “I’m putting you two on an intense reading program this summer.” As he made this statement he placed a large stack of books on their kitchen counter. This stack included books that ranged from various topics such as: history, philosophy, theology, sociology, science, business, journalism, and globalization. During this process of reading they came up with this idea to start a blog to start sharing their thoughts and ideas. This is when they came up with the idea of challenging teens to rebel against the low expectations our culture places on them; and so the term rebelution was birthed. This word is a made up word and is a combination of the word rebel and revolution. The summer of 2005 started a growing movement of young people choosing to “do hard things” for the glory of God. Now Alex and Brett Harris take this message to do hard things to parent-teen conferences all across the nation.

This book captured my attention because I realized that the only reason why these young men are the way they are is because their father and mother didn’t buy into the lie of the so called “teenage” years. The parents of Alex and Brett Harris taught them that they would transition from boyhood to adulthood without the “teen” years. They didn’t buy into the lie that somehow the age of adolescence means a vacation from responsibility.

I was challenged by this book because I think this idea of doing hard things shouldn’t start during the “teen” years, but should start when our children are young. We expect so little of our children. We make excuses for their disobedience with the words like, “O, they must be tired.” Since when does being tired give anyone a license to be disobedient. Or when we ask our child to say hello to someone and they turn away. We make excuses for this child’s behavior by saying, “O is Johnny shy today…” NO Johnny is not shy he’s just plain rude, and he needs to be taught that rudeness is unkind. Since when is it ever appropriate for us to turn away and ignore someone who is trying to say hello to us? The easy thing to do is to excuse the child’s behavior, the hard thing to do is to make it a sinful heart issue and then have to discipline for it. Here’s another example; two of your children are fighting for the same toy. The easy thing to do in this situation is to give the toy to the one who was able to attain the toy first, but the hard thing to do is to evaluate the hearts of both children and ask why child number one is unwilling to give up his toy and evaluate why child number 2 wants to possess the toy so desperately. It’s a hard thing to think through these issues and then evaluate because after thinking through this particular scenario thoroughly the parent will have to conclude that both child is clearly displaying sinful actions that needs to be disciplined.

After being challenged by this book, we as a family have decided that we are going to do hard things this summer. Oh, we’ll have plenty of fun, but we are going to incorporate hard things with the fun. For example, one hard thing our children were challenged by already this summer is riding their bikes up the hill to grandma and grandpa’s house. They live on Browns Mountain so it is quite a ride up hill for these short legs. Last week was their first attempt, and they all succeeded with a little bit of encouragement. We went a second time this week, and they admitted it was a lot easier the second time compared to the first. Another hard thing I am asking the kids to do is to make friends with the kids in our new neighborhood. One of the things they have not been able to do in our previous neighborhood was make friends with neighborhood kids because there weren't any. Another hard thing the kids decided to do was start an early morning exercise program. They decided that they were going to follow mom and dad’s example and exercise every morning after they do their quiet times. They started jogging one mile a day. Cade wanted to step outside his comfort zone by requesting to take golf lessons. This summer Cade will take golf lessons for the first time. It’s a new sport for him, so it is a hard thing. He and I will also attempt to play 9 holes on a par 3 course after his one week lesson. This will be a hard thing for me; to try and coach him. Kailyn and Claire are going to be involved in competitive swimming this summer. All the kids will be required to read several classic books during the summer (LaNae is still working on their reading list). I have plans to read a book that is not theological or spiritual in nature called Escape from the Deep. It’s a WWII submarine story. This will be a different type of reading for me since I finished seminary. It will be hard, but I am looking forward to it. LaNae and I have started the hard road of adoption. We don’t know what to expect, completely, but we have prayed and sought the Lord regarding the next hard thing we were to do after we were done with seminary life, and the Lord keeps directing our hearts towards adoption. We registered, by faith, with an international adoption agency by paying the $200 registration fee this week. The average cost for an adoption from the Philippines is $20,000. Read LaNae’s blog for periodic updates on this topic.

Parents, let’s not waste our families life. Let’s challenge one another to begin a pattern of modeling the act of doing hard things for the glory of God before our children.