Satisfied with Christ

There is a growing population of men in the church today who take lightly the teachings of Jesus. In Matthew 5:28-30 Jesus, that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

There is a sense of lethality in the words of Jesus here. And frankly I don’t think men take these words seriously enough. The issue is the heart. I hear men who get excited about the fact that they have not looked at sexually explicit materials in “the last week” even though in their heart they wanted to so desperately. This was brought to my attention recently as I was reading an article from Christianity Today entitled Addicted to Sex. I was bothered by the article because it lacked a Christocentric (Christ Centered) approach in dealing with the issue of sexual sin. It had an anthropocentric (man centered) approach to overcoming sexual sin. Not one time in this article was it mentioned that the greatest remedy for any kind of sexual sin problem is to be satisfied with Christ above the sin. John Piper has stated on several occasions that, “Jesus Christ was the most satisfied man that ever walked the face of this earth, and he never had one sexual experience.” He was satisfied because His satisfaction was in His Father.

Men will never overcome their sin of seeking pleasure for their own satisfaction if they never get to the place where Christ is their greatest satisfaction. At the core of every sin, whether it is sexual immorality, anger, impatience, anxiousness, etc… is the insatiable desire to satisfy one’s self. But because I’m writing about sexual sin, that is going to be my emphasis.

Being satisfied with Christ was the missing element in the Christianity Today article. No doubt, some men have a more difficult time dealing with certain sins than other men. Just as some people are more prone to worry than others because of their disposition. However, the solution for any sin remains the same for the believer in Jesus Christ. Put the sinful tendency off and put on Christ (Eph. 4:22; Col. 3). Think less of that sinful pleasure and think more about Christ. David said in Psalm 119:11, Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against you… Jesus said in John 17:17, sanctify them in the truth, Your word is the Truth. This means putting off the sin that entangles us and meditating on Scripture. Here’s the problem. We want quick results. We think that just because we start meditating on a passage all the desire for lust will be gone that week. There are no quick fixes. We must constantly be on guard. We can remove all the possible sexually explicit materials that we may come in contact with (which I believe is a good thing). We can install “safe eyes.” We can put in all kinds of filters on our computer. We can get rid of cable TV. We can get rid of the TV all together, but the issue still falls back on the heart. You must be relentless in putting the Scripture into your mind (Col. 3:16). You must get up early and plead with the Lord for a heart that is pure. You must go to bed praying that God would give you the grace to rise up the next day to live a life that is consistent with his calling of you (Ephesians 4:1). You must fix your eyes on Jesus. The author of Hebrews writes this to, …lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin… (Heb. 12:1-4). This is a call for each man to keep his gaze on the finished work of Christ on the cross. The battle over sexual sin (or any sin for that matter) is won by constantly reminding ourselves of God’s redemptive work in His son. If you remove the redemptive work of God in the cross of Jesus Christ in your battle against sin, then your religion is no different than any other religion that trumpets the work of man as its highest aim; that is a form of self righteousness. And Jesus warned those who desire to enter the kingdom of heaven to rise above self righteousness (cf. Matt 5:20). The righteousness God demands is a righteousness that meets His standards. That is why He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf so that we might become the righteousness of God in him (2 Cor. 5:21).

Therefore, set up your hedges against the temptation to sin. Have other’s hold you accountable. But do not remove your eyes from the one who for the joy set before him endured the cross, finished the race perfectly, and after making purification of sins sat down at the right hand of Majesty on high (cf Heb 1:4).

Book Recommendation

Every year (for the past few years) during this time of the year we read a book called Journey to the Cross by Helen Haidle. Our kids enjoy bringing this book out every during the Easter season. The story of the cross is not watered down. The reality of God’s hatred towards sin is not glossed over. Here’s an excerpt from the back of the book:

Finally…a book that features all the events of the last week of Jesus’ life and resurrection in chronological order. Well-known children’s author Helen Haidle brings together a day-by-day recounting of the last week of Jesus’ life – his death, his resurrection, and all of the events following his resurrection, including his ascension and the pouring out of his Spirit at Pentecost. Journey to the cross helps six to twelve year olds understand who Jesus is and what he has done for them. Young readers will discover: 1) details of the culture and customs of the first century, 2) how Jesus fulfilled Old Testament prophecies of the Messiah, 3) All the events of Jesus’ passion and resurrection, and 4) What Jesus’ sacrifice means to them today.

Last night, after reading through the events that took place at the cross, the application question at the end of the chapter was, “Could Jesus have come down from the cross?” My youngest said, “yes” and my two oldest said “no”. The answer: yes and no. My youngest understands that since Jesus is God he can do anything and if that means coming down from the cross he could do it. In her mind if Jesus has the power to forgive sins, surely he has the power to come down from the cross. My two oldest children also understand that this was accomplished according to God’s sovereign plan. They also understood that Jesus had to suffer and die in order to satisfy God’s wrath. I am so thankful to God for good children’s books that do not water down the truth. I didn’t have to prepare a complicated lesson, it was packaged right here for me in this book.

At the end of our family devotional time we spent some time singing songs of praise and thanksgiving to God for his great gift of salvation.
You need to get this book.

The Ordination Process

Many of you have been asking why I haven’t had any posts for quiet some time. During the last couple of weeks I have been intensely studying for my ordination council which took place on March 18th. It was actually an encouraging time for LaNae, the kids, and me. It wrapped up the process of my training which started about 4 ½ years ago. I had forgotten that the training to full time ministry started that long ago. For those of you who may not know, I started off here at FBC as a Children’s Ministry resident. That was part of what was back then known as “The Men of God” program. The term “Men of God” was taken from 1 and 2 Timothy where Timothy was referred to by Paul as a man of God in a technical sense; namely, as a minister of the gospel. During those two years of serving as a resident I was taking correspondent courses through The Master’s Seminary (TMS). By the time I was done with my training here I had completed roughly 21 semester credits (which translated meant about a semester and a half of classes). The two year training program here was one of two stages towards the final stage of the ordination process. The purpose of those two years was for the elders of FBC to objectively determine whether or not I was called to full time ministry. They evaluated my character and my ministry skills, and at the end of those two years they affirmed my calling to ministry, and were supportive of my decision to attend TMS for further theological studies. Now, the moment of truth was here. Everything I had learned over the past 4 ½ years was going to be tested. Dan Jarms, John Smith, and Mike Rosario were the men I selected to be on my ordination council.

Each of these men played a significant role in my journey to full time ministry. John Smith (in the center) was perhaps the most influential person in shaping as a “man of God.” I met with him for over a period of 2 ½ years every Friday morning to be discipled in the word of God, in prayer, in leading my wife, and in shepherding my children. His aim during these meetings was not to convince me that I should pursue full time ministry, but rather to instill in me what the Scriptures say is a godly man. Mike Rosario (to the right) was also an influential person in shaping my character. His excitement over the study of the word of God instilled in me an excitement to study it for myself. He and his wife are dear friends of ours. His wife, Jill, is a dear friend to LaNae and our families try to get together at least once a year. Dan Jarms (to the left) served as my staff pastor while I was going through my residency program here at FBC. His road to full time ministry was very similar to mine in that he had been in a secular career for about 10 years before sensing the Lord’s call to full time ministry. One of the things that I appreciate most about Dan is his humility and his aim to seek for a balance. His encouragement to me has always been to develop a tight theological grid, but not to get hung up on preferential issues. This has been helpful for me as I grow in my understanding of what it means to be a pastor. Each of these men has played a key role in my life, and I was so thankful that the Lord allowed for all three to be part of this council.

Dan Jarms started off his 45 minute segment firing questions related to the Bible. His first question was “what is the theme of the Bible?” He then followed this up with, “how does each book of the Bible fit within that theme?” This was perhaps my favorite question because in preparing for this question it helped me see the overall picture of the Bible. This took about 15 minutes to do as I walked through each section of the Bible all the way to the book of Revelation describing the kingdom theme. Bruce Waltke’s book Old Testament Theology was helpful in helping me see the overall picture of the Bible. Next he asked me what the themes for several OT and NT books along with their outlines. And then he asked me state my position on key problem passages. He ended his questions with this one, “what does it mean in 1 Timothy that women will be saved through child birth.” To which I replied, “I don’t know.” That one slipped my mind as I studied through problem passages.

After the first 45 minute segment was complete we took a 15 minute break. I checked to see if I was dry under the arm pit, and sure enough I put the right deodorant on. Then again I realized John Smith had not had his turn yet. The 15 minutes were up and then John started firing away on question regarding systematic theology. His section was divided up into three segments. In the first segment he gave a key doctrine and then my responsibility was to come up with as many Scripture references as possible. For example, he stated, “the sovereignty of God” and then I had to come up with as many Scripture references as possible dealing with the Sovereignty of God. In the second segment he read three or four different paragraphs from different books. My responsibility was to identify the error in the statement and then correct it with what Scripture teaches. His reason for doing this stems from Titus 1:9 where elders are to be able to refute those who contradict the truth. In the final segment he asked me to define in one or two sentences theological terms with a couple of key Scripture references. I have to admit after the systematic theology section I was exhausted. I wasn’t sure if I had the endurance to go on the last section – practical theology.

Mike Rosario finished the final segment of the ordination council with question regarding practical theology. I was glad this was the last section of the council because it was refreshing to try and put practical application to all that I was rattling off in the first two segments. Mike took some scenarios from his own personal experience as a pastor. What I realized during this time is that there is not always one set of answer to each situation. Situation I will be faced with as a pastor will have its unique features that will be require delicate handling each time. Mike has been through many challenges as a young pastor and I appreciate his humility in how he dealt with many of the situations he faced.

After the men were done grilling me, they went into the other room and had a conference. To my surprise they came back with smiles on their face. Each man commented on what took place that afternoon, and gave me a word of exhortation and encouragement to continue to develop a tighter theological grid. The tone of the whole afternoon was very affirming and encouraging. At times during the final exhortations I was moved to tears because of the kind words these men were saying. I was humbled by each of their graciousness and thankful to the Lord for allowing me to be mentored by each of them.

That evening LaNae, the kids, and I enjoyed a quiet evening at home. We celebrated by going out to ice cream. The kids are glad to have daddy back. It’s hard to imagine that the training process is over. It seemed like those 4 ½ years flew by. But even though it seemed like it flew by, it was probably the hardest days of our married life. It was filled with many trials and many tears. It was filled with many nights crying out to the Lord for more grace to endure. It was filled with statements like, “why does daddy always have to study.” But I think I can speak on behalf of the family that though it was hard, we trust that God will use what we’ve learned for the sake of His Kingdom.

"What is your parenting philosophy?"

Recently, I was asked by someone whom I dearly respect as a parent for my philosophy in parenting. When asked, I thought, “now that’s a loaded question.” And on top of that I hadn’t really formalized my philosophy of parenting because much of it is still in progress. But I thought for a moment, and realized that every single parent has a philosophy of parenting whether it is formally written in document form or not.

I had 5 minutes to answer a relatively complicated question which I didn’t think was enough time, so I thought I’d give a somewhat well thought out answer on this blog. Here is my best attempt. My wife and I aim to shepherd the heart of our children with the Scriptures, so that they will grow to love Christ. That is the bottom line philosophy of our parenting. That is the goal which we shoot for as we seek to train up our children in the ways of the Lord. Much of this has been shaped by Ted Tripp’s book Shepherding a Child’s Heart and a plethora of others who have gone before us (see parenting resources in the right column). Shepherding a Child’s Heart was life changing in how we viewed parenting, and it continues to have impact in what we do. But that phrase, “shepherding a child’s heart” can be nebulous. In Tripp’s book he lays out the biblical principle; which is good. We need to be driven by biblical principles. But what does that look like when your child is 2 years old and what does it look like when they he/she is in Jr. high school, high school, college, etc…? To shepherd the heart of the child is ultimately where we want to arrive as parents. I think that’s how we need to look at it. Therefore, our methodology has to drive us to that end when it comes to parenting. If that’s the goal, there has to be steps along the way that gets us there. We can’t just have a goal in mind and expect to land there haphazardly. We need to develop a plan. If you believe in the end goal then what are the steps that will take you there? The problem with the heart of children is that deep down inside they are sinful (Psalm 51:5; cf Romans 3:23), and we know that apart from the saving work of the gospel their heart will always be sinful to the core. So that’s the first step. The Scriptures must be at the core of our parenting because the Scriptures (along with the Holy Spirit) is what will awaken their hearts from its deadness (James 1:18). Whether they completely understand it or not, the Scriptures must always be brought to bear in the lives of our children as we parent them.

The tension then is that we as parents are called to train our children and allow the work of the Holy Spirit to transform their lives with His word. However, we are not called upon to passively parent. We must actively parent them. We must actively instruct them (Deuteronomy 6:4ff; Psalm 78:1-8). The reason why we must be active is because this is how we get to their heart. So how do you get to the heart? You have to get a hold of the external behavior first. What I mean is that when they are two years old and you tell them to obey, and they don’t want to, you really can’t appeal to their heart just yet. They just need to obey because you tell them to do something (Eph 6:2). If you try to “shepherd the heart” at this stage you will get nowhere, and you will end up becoming more and more frustrated and discouraged with your child. Your goal in these early years (between 18 months to 5 years old) is to get them to submit to your authority. The veneer of external rebellion must first be put away, and this is a process that will consistently play a significant role in your parenting. This means that as long as your child does not submit to your authority you will never get to the heart. Once you peel away at the layer of submitting to you then you have a view into their heart. The advantage with starting off at a young age is that the external behaviors that need to be peeled away are relatively small. It usually has something to do with simply obeying mom and dad when told to do something the first time. It usually means not whining when told to do something (Phil 2:14). If you wait until your child is older before you set the standard of first time obedience you will get excited about “Johnny” taking out the garbage when asked the first time, but you will miss that he rolled his eyes at you when you asked him to do it. The “rolling eyes” or the “deep sighs” are actually a window into their heart. But if your attention is on the external, then you missed what’s going on in the heart. You missed that “Johnny” does not yet have a tender heart towards those in authority over him. You missed that “Johnny” does not respect his mom or dad.

I’m not saying that it will be easy. But I am saying that it will require consistency. We shepherd the heart of our children because we want them to ultimately submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and His word.

That in a nutshell, that is the bottom line philosophy of parenting my wife and I seek to live by. I hope that helps. It was a great question because it forced me to think about why we do what we do in our home.