"It's Bath Time"

The other day I was asked the question, “How do you cleanse your wife by the washing of water with the word?” The person asking wanted to know what this might look like practically in a marriage relationship. I felt somewhat prepared because I have given the concept (truth based on Ephesians 5) much thought in the recent past. It seems like a nebulous command that the Apostle Paul gives us. The context of the Ephesians 5:25-31 seems to be what Christ did for the church. Christ loved the church so much that he gave his life for her. By giving His life for the church, He presents the church to Himself holy and without blemish. The husbands love for his wife is a purifying kind of love. His love for her should cause him to do whatever it takes to lead her to purity both in her thoughts and in her actions. The primary means by which this is accomplished is through the word of God. Here’s where it gets tricky. What does it actually look like to apply Ephesians 5:26 in our marriage? I think this takes place in various forms. Whenever we apply what the Scriptures says we always need to understand the underlying biblical principle. The underlying principle behind “cleansing” one’s wife with the word is keeping her pure primarily by bringing her back to the Scriptures when her actions or thinking contradicts the teachings of Scripture. Here is where husbands must learn how to be a student of his wife. He needs to ask her how she would be best ministered to, particularly as it relates to being “cleansed” by the word. For some marriages, the husband and wife have a set time where they sit down in the evening and the husband instructs his wife in the Scriptures. For some wives this is perfectly fine, but other wives may feel like they are one of their husbands project if he were to approach her in this way. In some marriages, the husbands “washing” of his wife in the word is not so structured. Perhaps he may ask her periodically how her quiet times have been, listen to her, and then supplement her insights with insights of his own related to what she is learning. As I’ve sought to apply Ephesians 5:26 in my marriage, what works for us is the less structured approach. I try to ask my wife how her quiet times with the Lord have been about three times a week. This takes place usually when we go for a walk in the morning or in the evening after we’ve put the kids to bed. After I ask her, then she often proceeds to tell me about what book in the Bible she is reading, what passage specifically she’s been meditating on and how she’s applying it. Sometimes she comes across a passage she needs clarification on and here’s when I usually take the time to instruct or I tell her that I will look it up and get back to her. Another way that I apply Ephesians 5:26 is by writing her a note. For example, if she shares with me an a issue in which she is struggling with, I’ve learned that it’s not helpful for her if I pull out all the Bible passages that deal with her particular struggle and machine gun her with those passages. What works best in our relationship is when I write a note asking her to mediate on a particular passage that addresses her particular struggle and then remind her in that note that I’ll be praying for her throughout the day.

Hope that helps.